BomBARDed

by Library Bards

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1.
Spider-Man 03:04
Spider-Man [Parody of "Spiderwebs" by No Doubt] He was just an awkward kid Never noticed anything he did Spider radioactivity Gave him powers and agility And now he’s stuck in the web he’s spinning Saving the day Peter isn’t home right now He’s busy slinging spiderwebs Some robbers shot and killed his Uncle Ben A Marvel story, but robbers shot and killed his Uncle Ben Pining for Mary Jane Kissing upside down in rain With great power, now you see Comes great responsibility Genetic mutation, from radiation He’s magically in shape! Peter isn’t home right now He’s busy slinging spiderwebs A portal took him to another time A Marvel story, but portals tend to happen all the time He swings from brick walls, Of buildings so tall And leaves his webbing For the city to clean Now who can we trust Since he blew away as dust From our friendly neighborhood, Peter didn’t feel so good Peter isn’t home right now He’s busy slinging spiderwebs He accidentally killed his old girlfriend A Marvel story, but whiplash may have Killed his old girlfriend He swings from brick walls Of buildings so tall No matter, matter, matter, matter who calls Our masked man web crawls Gwen Stacy isn’t home right now, so Leave a message and she'll call you back Miles isn’t home right now So leave a message and he'll call you back
2.
DnD 03:27
DnD [Parody of "TNT" by AC/DC] (Roll! Roll! Roll!) See me rollin’ out my dice set From my purple Crown Royal bag Countin‘ the crits that I will get Don’t have to deal with lag Pencils to the left of me And paper to the right Ain’t got no plug Ain’t got no mouse I’m a fricken knight. I play DND, on Sunday nights, DND, characters with might, DND, adventures bestowed, DND, playing mages and rogues! The party is formed with a similar goal: Tryin’ to level up Character sheets are filled out in full Got ‘dew in my cup So hang up your headsets Dim down the lights Hang up controllers And roll for your life The DM’s back in town So don’t you mess me ‘round I play DND, on Sunday nights, DND, characters with might, DND, adventures bestowed, DND, playing mages and rogues! I’m getting EXP, on Sunday nights, DND, characters with might, DND, adventures bestowed, DND, playing mages and rogues!
3.
Princess Bride [Parody of "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers] Open the book, turn the page Right before my bedtime Grandpa can’t go home until he reads it all Could be a hit or a miss He says it has pirates Is this a book with a kiss? [Wait! Is this a book with a kiss?] A place with horses and sheep Stable boy and a girl Fell in love, then he left to seek fortune in the world. Now the farm boy is dead Enter Prince Humperdink That she’s now forced to wed, to become a princess now Damsel in distress now Let her go It’s from a book, this love story Hashtag Relationship Goals! Westley, she thinks that he died at sea She’s kidnapped by three bandit guys They don’t know he’s in disguise West will come to save the day! He’s taken up Dread Piracy Insane Cliffs he’ll have to climb It’s The Princess Bride. Clashing swords with left hands Then switching fast to the right Taking the giant down, chokehold makes him fall Inconceivable wits, How did it end up like this? Iocane’s odorless, and then he said “As you wish” Rodents crawl on the ground They’re of unusual size But Humperdink takes her back, and wants Westley to die Now he’s just mostly dead, he needs a Miracle Max ‘Cause Buttercup’s getting wed, to become a princess now, Westley’s on a quest now Let her go! It’s from a book, this love story! #RelationshipGoals! Westley, storming castles expertly Working with his new allies Six fingered man, Prepare to die! West will come to save the day! Buttercup will soon be free Through the sunset they will ride! It’s the Princess Bride.
4.
Comic Fan 03:42
Comic Fan [Parody of "Magic Man" by Heart] Cold, late night up in my bed Covers up above my head The panels flashed before me Those lines came to life You know, I could not run or jump, it seemed or throw a ball, but I can dream Those heroes seemed to call me, they spoke right to me, yeah “I wanna be a hero” I say it with a smile I have no mutant powers, and I can’t fly for miles But I’ve got Iron Man, I’ve got Spider-Man, Try try try to understand, I’m a comic fan. Convention nights we wait in line Playing games to pass the time Those characters we all know, in movies and new shows We flash our badge and shuffle in Before the panel would begin We all seem worried, that trailer looked hurried “I wanna be a hero” we all seem to respond Though we come from different places, we share a common bond ‘Cause we’ve got Iron Man, we’ve got Spider-Man, Try try try to understand, we are comic fans. “I wanna be a hero” he whispered to our hearts, Through every generation, these stories play a part, ‘Cause we’ve got Iron Man, we’ve got Spider-Man, Try, try to understand, We have all of them thanks to Stan - we are Stan Lee fans! [Instrumental] “I wanna be a hero” he whispered to our hearts, Through every generation, these stories play a part, ‘Cause we’ve got Iron Man, we’ve got Spider-Man, We have all of them thanks to Stan, we are Stan Lee fans!
5.
Come Fly Away [Parody of "Come Sail Away" by Styx] I’m sailing away - set an open course ‘cross the galaxy ‘Cause I’ve got to be free - and you can never take the sky from me On board Mal’s the Captain - so climb aboard We’ll transport your cargo - the law ignored And we’ll fly, oh lord we’ll fly, ‘til Wash is gone Fly, fast as the breeze Passage to be paid, with some strawberries One shipment we had Contained a naked girl, who went raving mad Jayne’s a hero in Canton, so the ballad goes We’ll carry your cattle in our cargo hold And we'll fly best that we can ‘til Wash is gone A gathering of Reavers suddenly descend Wash shouted out his mantra, a leaf upon the wind We said don’t fail today, don’t fail today Don’t fail Serenity Don’t fail today, don’t fail today Don’t fail Serenity Wash get away, wash get away Flying Serenity Wash get away, wash get away Flying Serenity We thought this show would air for years, but much to our surprise, Fox cancelled after season one, but renewed Family Guy Come fly away come fly away Fly on Serenity Come fly away come fly away Fly on Serenity Come fly away come fly away Fly on Serenity Come fly away come fly away Fly on Serenity
6.
Welcome to Jurassic Park [Parody of "Dancing in the Dark" by Bruce Springsteen] It’s beyond believing, Scientists were blown away The choppers are flying - I look around, seeing the display! You can’t call me a liar I stuck my arm in the dung myself They had babies, without any manly help Amber’s required It’s found in fossilized tree bark I’m feelin’ inspired Welcome to Jurassic Park Dinosaurs keep getting bigger, tourists are filling up the place I check the doors with a shiver I want to change the locks, the fence, the gate Mankind ain't getting nowhere We all know that it’s womankind who lives See my gelatin jigglin, I think we all know what that is Amber’s required It’s found in fossilized tree bark I’m feelin’ inspired Welcome to Jurassic Park It’s just a hostile takeover The dinos are misunderstood We built a crappy enclosure Because we could, not if we should Clear the streets of the theme park We’re no longer the master race These dinos are hungry And that one spat acid in my face I'm at this fatal attraction I'm sick of sitting 'round here hiding on the loo I need a mass extinction Or later I’ll end up dino poo Amber’s required It’s found in fossilized tree bark I’m feelin’ inspired Welcome to Jurassic Park Amber’s required To play god, so why not give it a whirl? Soon, you will be expired Eaten by a Clever Girl Welcome to Jurassic Park
7.
John Barrowman [Parody of "Piano Man" by Billy Joel] It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday, my favorite show soon will begin. Well, we’re all a fan of the Doctor now, but we wait for that jawline and chin. He says “Hello, I’m in squadron 1-3-3” as he smiles down, while holding Rose And he’s cute, and it seems like he bats for both teams wearing fitted Royal Airforce clothes. Give all the roles to John Barrowman! Give him the roles today, For we all know his dimples are heavenly, Don’t care if you’re straight, bi, or gay! Now John at the Con is a friend of mine, Well, not really, I had to pay for his pic. In my Jack Harkness coat, I recite every quote, and my eyes wander down to his - smile. He says “Bards, it’s really nice meeting you!” As he signs his name with a heart. We say “John, you should be a movie star, if only they’d give you more parts!” Give all the roles to John Barrowman! Give him the roles today, For we all know his dimples are heavenly, Don’t care if you’re straight, bi, or gay! He has played a villain on Arrow, even bad, he can make our hearts soar. He’s so cute when he’s mean on our small TV screen, but we know that he’s destined for more! So Hollywood, it’s time for a leading man who comes from a land overseas! He can sing and can dance, and looks great in tight pants, and his husband and fanbase agree! Give all the roles to John Barrowman! Give him the roles today, For we all know his dimples are heavenly, Don’t care if you’re straight, bi, or gay! We‘re singin’ give all the roles to John Barrowman! Give him the roles today, For we all know his dimples are heavenly, Don’t care if you’re straight, bi, or homosexual!
8.
Klingon 04:25
Klingon [Parody of "Dream On" by Aerosmith] Birds of Prey decloak and get clearer Filled with blood wine; Victory is nearer The battle’s on Ships fly by, weapons drawn Isn't that the way Everybody knows their enemies must pay I know everybody knows The warrior race from Qo’noS Although war may begin Better to die with honor if you don’t win Raise your Bat’leth to the Empire Nation Stubborn allies to the Starfleet Federation We guarantee: Sto vo kor, it waits for thee! Sing with me, sing of our glory Sing out so loud the dead hear our story Sing of me, sing of this day Maybe tomorrow, Kahless will take you away Sing with me, sing of our glory Sing out so loud the dead hear our story Sing of me, sing of this day Maybe tomorrow, Kahless will take you away Klingon Klingon Klingon Cleavin’ all our foes in two Klingon Klingon Klingon Then enjoy some cold prune juice Sing with me, sing of our glory Sing out so loud the dead hear our story Sing of me, sing of this day Maybe tomorrow, Kahless will take you away Sing with me, sing of our glory Sing out so loud the dead hear our story Sing of me, sing of this day Maybe tomorrow, Kahless will take you away
9.
Mighty Morphin' Time [Parody of "Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper] Living our life, hear the watch beep, A voice comes through Called upon to save the day, intrusion Is nothing new They crash land - and pick fights - Not just petty crime. Suit-change technology, It’s mighty morphin’ - Parkour abilities, with teamwork we get ahead! We’re beating Putties, with no fear When will they end? A monster will show, we fall behind - We form a single line With our hands on our Buckles, we shout strongly It’s Mighty Morphin’ Time! In color-coded spandex, we’ll be fighting It’s Mighty Morphin’ Time! Transforming sequence, our dinosaurs have lent us aid! Watching through windows - you're wondering if we’ll save the day Secret identities we all must hide, our weapons can combine! With our hands on our Buckles, we shout strongly It’s Mighty Morphin’ Time In color-coded spandex, we’ll be fighting It’s Mighty Morphin’ Time! Monsters will grow - We’re in a bind But our Dinozords combine! With our hands on our Buckles, we shout strongly It’s Mighty Morphin’ Time In color-coded spandex, we’ll be fighting It’s Mighty Morphin’ Time!
10.
I Need a Zero [Parody of "I Need a Hero" by Bonnie Tyler] Where have all the good folks gone, to weaken all my foes? Where’s the waves of peasants that I can send to die in droves? I am just a white knight upon a silver steed, How am I supposed to win without the tools I need? I need a zero! An insignificant peasant who would die for a knight They just have to be ready, whenever I fancy And otherwise stay out of sight I need a zero! A nothing nobody no one ever bothers to know And when they are killed, it’s their destiny filled And we can move on with the show! In all the songs and tales and all the histories Faceless armies fight and die on land and on stormy seas They get the glory of a death without a name, While it’s my burden true to live with all the fame! [sob] I need a zero! An anonymous body just to fall in a war When they die in the mud, well maybe their blood Will rust our enemy’s sword! I need a zero! An unimportant defender of whatever I say But when push comes to shove, it’s me that they love ‘Cause I am the one who’s saving the day I need a zero! For example, a Bard who only knows how to drum Out in the streets or in the innkeeper’s bar! Out on the front lines of our army! I could swear there is someone who counts as a puny N-P-C Through the wind, and the chill, and the rain, and the storm, and the flood - I can track their retreat by the trail of their blood! I need a zero! An insignificant peasant who would die for a knight They just have to be ready, whenever I fancy And otherwise stay out of sight I need a zero! A nothing nobody no one ever bothers to know And when they are killed, it’s their destiny filled And we can move on with the show! I need a zero! An anonymous body just to fall in a war When they die in the mud, well maybe their blood Will rust our enemy’s sword! I need a zero! An unimportant defender of whatever I say But when push comes to shove, it is me that they love ‘Cause I am the one who is saving the day I need a zero! A nothing nobody no one ever bothers to know!
11.
Stan Lee 03:15
Stan Lee [Parody of "Stand By Me" by Ben E. King] When we all were young And we found that spark Of the heroes brought to life in fantasies See his name, displayed On the comic trades Just a man, a great man Named Stan Lee You know who we’re singing ‘bout! Stan - Stan Lee! Oh! Stan, Stan Lee. It’s Stan Lee, it’s Stan Lee. He’s Stan Lee. If his books, that we look upon Should crumble and tear They will live on throughout his legacy Don’t deny! (don’t deny) He’s our guy! (he’s our guy!) Remembering 95 years! He’s the man we all know as Stan Lee! We’re gathered here to celebrate! Stan - Stan Lee! Oh, Stan, Stan Lee! It’s Stan Lee, it’s Stan Lee! He’s Stan Lee! Thor and Hulk have come, And Mr. Tony Stark And the Guardians of our Nerdy Galaxy! No, we won't be afraid Oh, we won't be afraid Thanks to the heroes created by Stan Lee! Excelsior! Excelsior! Stan - Stan Lee! Oh Stan Lee. Stan Lee! It’s Stan Lee, it’s Stan Lee! He’s Stan Lee! With power comes responsibility! Stan Lee! Oh, Stan Lee. Stan Lee! Stan Lee.
12.
DnD (RmX) 04:24

credits

released September 10, 2019

Vocals: Bonnie Gordon & Xander Jeanneret
Additional Backing Vocals: Kim Williams

Mixing and Mastering of the Universe: Reston Williams
Partially Recorded at Mildly Panicked Studios

Musical Tracks: Bonecage and Sam Johnides
Remix: Michael Carrera

Lyrics: Bonnie Gordon and Xander Jeanneret
Additional Lyrics: Kevin Becker, Jordan Hassay, and Sam de Leve

Album Cover Art: Mike Hamlet

Management and Production: Randall Domingue
Executive Producers: Jack Dire, Scott Gordon, Lauren E. Mitchell, Derek Stevens, and Bill Zanetti

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Library Bards Los Angeles, California

The Library Bards are a nerd parody band consisting of Bonnie Gordon (ABC's The Quest, R. Mika in Street Fighter V) and Xander Jeanneret (TBS' King of the Nerds). They take Top 40 hits and transform them into the nerdy versions they should have been in the first place! With their catchy tunes and nerdy lyrics, the @LibraryBards will be bringing you into the #BardLife in no time! ... more

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